george carlin politicians transcript george carlin politicians transcript

George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008) was an American comedian, actor, author, and social critic. So self-important. 0000082419 00000 n A friend is someone who will come over and help you move. 193 0 obj And so when finally all the facts come out and our subject seems quite guilty he employs that sublime use of the passive voice: POLITICIAN:MISTAKES WERE MADE. See they dont READ they REVIEW, they dont have OPINIONS they take POSITIONS, and they dont give ADVISE they make RECOMMENDATIONS. Real connection comes from being present with other people, from having meaningful conversations, from doing things together. About Press Copyright Contact us Creators Advertise Developers Terms Privacy Policy & Safety How YouTube works Test new features NFL Sunday Ticket Press Copyright . Now theres one thing you mighta noticed I dont complain about: politicians. Incidentally, another way of expressing this sentiment is to say we're sending our young men and women to places the average American can't find on the map. Lee did not involve himself formally in politics, but he was a symbol of diversity and the synthesis of "East" and "West." They dont fall out of the sky. ,G0p%:::400-: @%L`n((lax@\0eF,q] \ .P+4 d3;P hnN*S fxsH>XDAA#beae:i5rY3h11(31013a_p_&]37CD\&k2N@TD}. Never mind the press conferences get the big knife out of the drawer. (LAUGHS). Besides, environmentalists don't give a shit about the planet. Nobody cares. Im sure as soon as the election is over your country will improve immediately. And don't even get me started on Twitter. Well off-course not only is it possible its inevitable and thats when he's at his very best and that's when he trots out the really good stuff. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying, lobbying, to get what they want. Are these fucking people kidding me? George Carlin speech at the National Press Club (May 13, 1999) "George Carlin delivered a humorous speech in which he ma Show more Show more George Carlin on Being Arrested for. But wheres the logic in that? He said: [There was] a lot of classroom freedomin fact there was so much freedom that by eighth grade, many of us had lost the faith. Nothing wrong with the planet. So maybe maybe MAYBE, its not the politicians who suck. So, I know that a little later on this year youre gunna have another one of those really swell presidential elections that you like so much [Bill Clinton v. Bob Dole]. George Carlin on why he likes disasters and people under pressure, and why the planet is doin' just fine. ', Illustrator of the Year, British Book Awards - 2018, Tina Fey: 'Only in comedy is an obedient white girl from the suburbs a diversity candidate', Kennedy Center Mark Twain Award - 2010, Sacha Baron Cohen: 'Just think what Goebbels might have done with Facebook', Anti Defamation League Leadership Award - 2019, Greta Thunberg: 'How dare you', UN Climate Action Summit - 2019, Charlie Munger: 'The Psychology of Human Misjudgment', Harvard University - 1995, Lawrence O'Donnell: 'The original sin of this country is that we invaders shot and murdered our way across the land killing every Native American that we could', The Last Word, 'Dakota' - 2016. They own you. POLITICIAN:WHEN HE RESPONDS TO MY INITIATIVE, I WILL REVIEW HIS RESPONSE, TAKE A POSITION AND MAKE A RECOMMENDATION. "We're so self-important. Regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comedians of all time, he was dubbed "the dean of counterculture comedians". Very relevant for these times of high public paranoia about Global Warming! Now, in the interest of logicsomething religion has a really hard time withI'm going to skip around the list a little bit: THOU SHALT NOT STEAL. They dont pass through a membrane from some other reality. THINGS ARE MOVING FASTER NOW, MISTAKES WERE MADE. 188 0 obj I'VE FAITH IN THE AMERICAN JUDICIAL SYSTEM. 0000002565 00000 n Our country is failing because the majority of the people are selfish. Everyone experiences pain, of course. If you vote, and you elect dishonest, incompetent people, and they get into office and screw everything up, well you are responsible for what they have done, YOU caused the problem, you voted them in, you have no right to complain. And we have the CONCEIT to think that somehow we're a threat? George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008) was an American stand-up comedian, actor, author, and social critic. And it's not just that social media is a distraction from real life, it's also a way of creating a false sense of connection. The planet is fine. He missed this one. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts, Use the actual ChatGPT bot (not GPT-3 models) for all your conversational needs, Try out the powerful GPT-3 bot (no jailbreaks required for this one), Generate unique and stunning images using our AI art bot, Chat with the BING Chat bot and see what it can come up with (new and improved! You know what they want? George Carlin on why he likes disasters and people under pressure, and why the planet is doin' just fine. Let's all tell each other what we're doing every minute of the day. It's our undeniably superior (almost god-like) intelligence that made life difficult for us when we were children. Everybody says they suck. You got people walking around bumping into each other, looking down at their phones, tweeting, Instagramming, Facebooking, like they're all little paparazzi. Follow the link for the full transcript, its worth it, but here are a few choice excerpts: When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. 2023. You caused the problem. You enjoy yourselves. George Carlin: Dumb Americans. They own everything. Watching the video and reading the transcript are, interestingly, two different experiences. Where are all the bright, honest, intelligent Americans ready to step in and save the nation and lead the way? So, next time you're scrolling through your feeds, ask yourself: 'Is this really connecting me with people, or is it just making me more disconnected and isolated?' "A transcript of George Carlin talking about Social Media" First Response: First Response Certainly! Good honest hard-working people; white collar, blue collar it doesnt matter what color shirt you have on. Theres a reason. I think I have done that bit', BAFTA acceptance, Leading Actress - 2019, Axel Scheffler: 'The book wasn't called 'No Room on the Broom! The stand up comic was an artist who did more than articulate the public's subconscious; he. While breaking down these claims on political correctness, Carlin implements his own set of values. And don't even get me started on the whole idea of 'friends' on social media. % It covers the most famous 'rant' part of the speech. But marital fidelity is a good idea, so I suggest we keep the idea and call this commandment "Thou shalt not be unfaithful." I show how there is no direct way to escape politicizing . Carlin took a liberal stance on most things, but generally found politics and politicians corrupt and ridiculous. "No child left behind. And we've only been engaged in heavy industry for a little over two hundred years. So my advice is this: put down your phone, go outside, and actually live your life. George Carlin was known for his insightful and humorous observations on modern society, including his thoughts on social media. Then youre just what theyre looking for. This is said with a straight face although it's obvious of course that the proposition is stated precisely backwards (LAUGHS). And we've all bought into it. You crowned us', by Toni Morrison - 1988, for Michael Gordon: '13 days ago my Dads big, beautiful, generous heart suddenly stopped beating', by Scott and Sarah Gordon - 2018, Tara Westover: 'Your avatar isn't real, it isn't terribly far from a lie', The Un-Instagrammable Self, Northeastern University - 2019, Tim Minchin: 'Being an artist requires massive reserves of self-belief', WAAPA - 2019, Atul Gawande: 'Curiosity and What Equality Really Means', UCLA Medical School - 2018, Abby Wambach: 'We are the wolves', Barnard College - 2018, Eric Idle: 'America is 300 million people all walking in the same direction, singing 'I Did It My Way'', Whitman College - 2013, Shirley Chisholm: ;America has gone to sleep', Greenfield High School - 1983, Joe Marler: 'Get back on the horse', Harlequins v Bath pre game interview - 2019, Ray Lewis : 'The greatest pain of my life is the reason I'm standing here today', 52 Cards -, Mel Jones: 'If she was Bradman on the field, she was definitely Keith Miller off the field', Betty Wilson's induction into Australian Cricket Hall of Fame - 2017, Jeff Thomson: 'Its all those people that help you as kids', Hall of Fame - 2016, Dan Angelucci: 'The Best (Best Man) Speech of all time', for Don and Katherine - 2019, Hallerman Sisters: 'Oh sister now we have to let you gooooo!' Updated on May 30, 2018. Michael Cooney was a speechwriter for @, George Carlin: 'Politicians don't actually say things, they INDICATE them', National Press Club - 1999. http://www.ravendevelopers.com/blog/2013/0 Bernie Sanders: 'So the next time you hear me attacked as a socialist, remember this', Georgetown University - 2015, Jimmy Carter: 'The threat is nearly invisible in ordinary ways. this is my tribute and way of promoting George Carlin's work. 0000015335 00000 n Carlin is funny as hell. Mr. GEORGE CARLIN: Here's another slogan you run into all the time "God Bless America." Once again, respectfully I say to myself what the (beep) does that mean. And so, with all of this in mind, folks, I offer you my revised list of the Two Commandments: THOU SHALT KEEP THY RELIGION TO THYSELF! This is what we have to offer. You know, say, boy, he really . A friend is someone you can count on. And if we had a list like that, I wouldn't mind that brilliant judge in Alabama displaying it prominently in the courthouse wall. POLITICIAN:I ADVISED HIM THAT I HAD MADE A JUDGMENT. They want obedient workers. I dont vote. It's supposed to connect you with other people, but it's just a way of avoiding real human contact. To learn more, check out our transcription guide or visit our transcribers forum, Comedian George Carlins take on The Ten Commandments. George Carlin. endobj Now hes on the side of law and order, jiu jitsu really: POLITICIAN:WE'RE TRYING TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS SO WE CAN GET THE FACTS OUT TO THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. <>/MediaBox[0 0 612 792]/Parent 175 0 R/Resources<>/Font<>/ProcSet[/PDF/Text/ImageC]/XObject<>>>/Rotate 0/StructParents 0/Tabs/S/Type/Page>> And secondly, I dont vote cause I believe if you vote, you have no right to complain. It's like the Wild West of the internet, but with more trolls. Dst7cSE99`YpOqBp@&+69ykl95-! And not that you can help it, I mean the problem is really with the people you cover. Apparently no one has ever claimed that only a small portion of something (LAUGHS) was blown out of proportion. This shit they shuffle around every four years? THOU SHALT NOT BEAR FALSE WITNESS . Most of the images you will find here are available for license or purchase. But hey, I guess it's just part of my glamorous jet-setting lifestyle.'. But a comedian has the ability to use their anger and intelligence to refocus and reconstruct their pain into entertainment. endobj And the more noise there is, the harder it is to hear anything worth listening to. <>/Metadata 181 0 R/Outlines 136 0 R/Pages 174 0 R/StructTreeRoot 145 0 R/Type/Catalog/ViewerPreferences<>>> He was a spiritual atheist as an adult. They got you by the balls. It's like a bunch of robots pretending to be human. You're just trying to impress people you don't even know. He is mostly non-political except for his involvement with the environmental organization, Greenpeace. Well, not overnight, you cant see the sun at night. And term-limits aint going to do you any good. They want more for themselves and less for everybody else, but Ill tell you what they dont want: They dont want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. Look, I'm not against technology or communication. Some parents deserve respect. WHEN THE HEARINGS HAVE CONCLUDED, I WILL MAKE A JUDGMENT OR I MIGHT MAKE AN ASSESSMENT. First of all, I can see the sun, okay? Sure, here's a transcript of George Carlin talking about social media: "Social media, huh? They are irrelevant. This legendary rant is even better when read. These people on social media, they're not your friends. Complete biography of George Carlin . endobj _S@bZ&j{|pQGB0qw_rm+eUr!:J9d j9mLJRL Q3PUn\#MuRJ\ *B6B6x The planet has been through a lot worse than us. But here's the thing, folks. Ill let Carlin tell you what he thinks. According to Carlin, religion is one of humanitys greatest swindles and created nothing but lies, conflict, and suffering. Something is definitely wrong. But here's the thing: social media isn't real life. But, he is wrong here. It would seem to fly in the face of that other rhetorical standby that: POLITICIAN:THE AMERICAN PEOPLE ARE LOT SMARTER THAN THEY ARE GIVEN CREDIT FOR. Everybody says they suck. George Carlin: How you doing? Nobody seems to care. Pfft! All rights reserved. THUS FAR, HE HASN'T RESPONDED. The PEOPLE are fucked. George Carlin Politicians : Choosing Life or Death in Capitalist America.. George Carlin Politicians youtu.be. George Carlin does not need my platitudes, but I will still proffer them. He often commented on contemporary political issues in the United States and satirized the excesses of American culture. Schedule . 0000004120 00000 n While you're here, we have a public discord server. You don't. You have no choice. Two reasons. People post pictures of themselves and their lives, trying to create a narrative that they're happy, successful, and popular. Everybody says they suck. "Political correctness is America's newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance.